Dating in London - PT I


(So at first i need to say, my english can be pretty bad sometimes. But i will not write in portuguese anymore because, well,  im living in London, and im able to learn witht my mistakes, so please you are more than welcome to correct me. )

I can't remember properly because i never go out with people that i don't know or if i don't have friends in common, but, i can say i had the worst first ( and last) tinder date ever. The subject here will be deeper than online dating to be honest. Because this guy, makes me think lots about character. 
After days trying to choose one guy to be my first tinder date, i found this one, we can call him "The pretending guy" (TPG). 

First: If you don't know me, you need to know i'm a very open, out-going, smiling all the time, bubbly and energetic person. I'm very fresh and honest. And you will notice that if sometime you talk to me in person. Is very difficult a situation or someone put me down or make me mad. And i'm very bad in say NO. I always want to the person who are with me have a good time. I will never go out with someone if i'm not able to provide a good time, and good laughs. Even if the person is not good. I will never be pessimist or rude. So, thats why i'm dont go out for a date very often.

Ok. I was ready and going to meet him, when i notice that i forgot my wallet. So i back home. When i notice, i was forgot too my keys too, inside the flat, so yes, pretty funny, i was locked. I text him

"Hey TPG, i was on my way and i just notice that i forgot my wallet, in front of my door i notice that my keys was inside too. My friend will just get home in a few hours, very sorry for that, you want to reschedule? I can go anyway just to say hi if you want" photo attached:

I know, looks like i was pretending something to don't appear for our drink, sad, but whats happen was true, i was not pretting.

Anyway, a gentleman, probably would answer 
"Carol, don't worry, i'm here, come meet me". But he is TPG, so he wrote:

"Take your time"
"My time is 3 hours, more 30 minutes to get in Mayfair, are you sure?Is a long time for wait"
"Yes i will be here"

At moment i was thinking, ok, weird, but, such a gentleman. Bleh.
After 3 hours and 47 minutes:
I get there and meet him. Good looking guy, wrong shoes, but you can't have everything, drinking a scotch.

I don't find him attractive immediately. I like the suit guys type, but need to have something cool and trendy on his suit you know? And same time don't look like you try too hard to look good. He totally tried harder. Failed. And his greek accent was pretty annoying. Come on you live here for ten years, make some effort about the accent. 
At moment i was not overthinking about this, but i notice this guy had something wrong. Trying to be too misterious and sexy. 


Sorry, don't work with me. I like real man. Who is not insecure and afraid to show who really are. I don't care if you a homeless or millionaire. Be honest. Sexiest thing ever.

Anyway, i still there for one hour, just two drinks, he still drinking scotchs. I said to him  "i have a dinner with friends need to go, lovely to meet you"

"Oh! Sorry i just realize i forgot my wallet Carolina. You mind to pay for our drinks ?"

****************are you kidding me after 4 hours waiting for me get my wallet and after all this scotchs COME ON BIATCHE *****************************

Anyway, im pretty bad in say no or argue about this type of thing so, yes no problem.
NOW:  He still texting me and i really don't know why. I wish answer, why, need more free drinks??? But i'm to polite for this type of reaction and dont want to make enimies. You know, i really dont care when this happens, but be honest since the beggining! Come on be a adult. I had 4 hours to do the same thing i do. Totally mess. I hate when men make me feel stupid. 


Ok, i will not talk about this one because i like him. Handsome, cute, good music taste, hot body. He make things happen. Probably if i call him exactly right now he will suggest a nice place to go and have fun. But im at home, eating skittles. 
I don't know. So, if you are you and is allergic to cats, reading now, just need to know you are lovely.


 I will not write just about one guy here, but about 2, same type, and i really don't get this type of attitude. PS:. these guys are NOT from tinder.

This is a subject that i really never imagine write about, because this type of guys are not exactly my type. Can have great style, treat me very well and be incredible charming, but i just understand why this type of guys mostly are with hot blonde girls with big boobs wearing very thight outfit. Your taste must be bad to be with this type. Expensive don't means good, babes. 

(hahaha sorry i'm being dramatic with this title)

At first such a gentleman, very fun and making me laugh. Nice outfit. After a few drinks a real nightmare. Showing off, talking about his money and proprieties etc. Hopefully we was not just us. So in the end he just disapear looking for coke. I had fun with his friends and dance a lot.  This morning he text me:

"So Carolina did you like me?"
-"You know how to have fun, but i still don't know you well. What about you?"
"Nothing yet. LOL. You didn't seem very in to me"

UK DATING RULES: Here the girls in the clubs and pubs hitting on guys,i need to tell, in Brazil is the opposit. And for the "society" you are a slutty if you act like that there. I don't care if you are my friend and do this, i think is pretty fair to be honest. I just think i don't know exactly how to do this without lost the best thing: the guy fight for you and show some effort. I'm not judging. 

So ok, i will not show anything or start a sexy dance for you on the dancefloor. Looks like i will never will get a boyfriend around here.


2-This one are sexy. VERY SEXY. Like, i can stare 20 minutes just looking at a photo of him naked. The one around here, the only one who something happend with. Nothing more will happen after this story acctully. Charmer smile ever. He knows how to treat a woman. Sometimes. I think maybe he drink to much vodka, and for this guys are a problem. They became money monsters, arrogant and not cool at all. Not with me, but with people around. Too much ego.  I was so into him when a bad thing happen. We was in a nightclub and had lots of girls on his table, like models, and incridible charming ones. One of his friends, lovely and beautiful one bring another friend, she was not good looking and a kind of fat, but she look totally fun. After talk with his friend he just talk with the beaufiful one:

"You can stay but your friend must go" 
She: "What??"
"Yes, she must go, not good looking enough to stay here"

The both girls go. I was chocked. Like, WE ARE IN 2014!!!!! COME ON, REALLY?????????
I really like him, but he put photos of his car on instagram and do this type of thing. 

FAIL. Go away with this tan and hot body. EW!


Looks like all the guys around here want to be a mix of Wolf of Wallstreet and Mr. Grey - But in a bad taste way. Guys, this is natural, you can't just become like that. You need to have the right refs to know how spend your money. Have a chrome car or match your sneakers with your car is not exactly a classy and nice thing. Is pretty silly and dumb to be honest. And doing this the only type of women you will get are the shitty ones probably. But if you are happy with this. Great. Have fun! 


What is really annoying me, is the guys approaching me very much around here, on the street, the taxi driver, on instagram, on website facebook page but any of these guys know what they want. I'm very direct "If you want to have fun (read sex), sorry, dont loose your time chatting with me, im not interested". Look  like english guys after this ,fall in love, is kind of insane. WHATS THE DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU. Too disapointing with my last dates. I can't trust no oneeeee! I'm missing home. 

(loving this new orientation)

So. That's it. Tomorrow i will write about my "date" with the pizza guy, i don't know if you guys read my column for long, but last year i meet G in a ramdon party  that i was not invited here in London and i felt in love with him deeply. I was walking on the street and listened a track that i really love, the door was almost open so i just go in. I meet him now one year later. I don't write about guys who i stay with, but this guy really make me think about good points to write. 





(So at first i need to say, my english can be pretty bad sometimes. But i will not write in portuguese anymore because, well,  im living in London, and im able to learn witht my mistakes, so please you are more than welcome to correct me. )


Guys... ye, i know what are you thinking.. Really, Tinder as a subject? Thats right?
YES. Yes because here in London, Tinder works in a totally different way. Can i be honest? I have exactly 284 guys waiting for my answer or for i just say something. Thats freaky insane. I'm too full of myself? Not exactly. I will clarify your mind.

When i was in London last summer tinder wasn't borned yet. The guys here will not approach you in the nightclubs, gym, streets or pubs. No.. pretty difficult. But now, looks like a new era. THE TINDER ERA. So cyber, so 2014. I'm feeling so trendy.

After you push right side on tinder, you just wait a few minutes, and yes, he will not just say hello and how are you, but he probably will ask for you " lets go out for a drink tonight". I just felt scared, how easily this guys go out for a drink with strangers. The weird part is, they are incredible good looking (my selection, sure). 
I think on tinder you feel confident because, when you approach a girl or a guy in a club you are totally out of your confort zone, because maybe she don't like you. And on tinder you already have the approval so, pretty easy. I founded good ones there, but i'm not sure about go for a tinder date. Maybe i should go out with these 284, ops 285 now, sorry, and see how this works. I can, acctually try different characters on this dates. Or this is messing around with this lovely tinder guys maybe? Ok, i will not be mean. I can pick five and go out and see whats happen maybe. My way to do this is very simple. 

" - Hey tinder guy number 34, i'm going have some drinks tonight at _______ with friends, you should come with your friends"

Too cold? Too safe? Probably for me is the only way. I'm afraid. Serial Killer is not a trendy anymore so, yes, is dangerous.  I'm up to that. I will pick some different styles, from different areas, and if you have some suggestion, like how i should choose, or maybe suggest "Carol wear different wigs on dates",  i'm open to listen. 

Gramma, don't be afraid, i'm ok here and enjoying London. 




(Feeling home)

So at first i need to say, my english can be pretty bad sometimes. But i will not write in portuguese anymore because, well,  im living in London, and im able to learn witht my mistakes, so please you are more than welcome to correct me. 
I dont know exactly how to starts this, but after think lots i just realize, is better write the more personal things right here on my website.
So, mostly, i will write here about exploring this town calls London, going to the weirdo places ever and the poshy places ever, because god blees im really good in pick a style and get deep into. So, yes, probably will be pretty fun. 
I just arrive 5 days a go and i can say i had just surprising and amzing time here.
I will try quikly clarify for you guyssss:

My flight was the worst flight ever, really. But im here, safe and sound, and i need to figure out things and do what every normal human being do when arrive to a new city. Check my tinder. 

I probably get a flu or something like that because im feeling kind of bad. Im feeling weird to be honest, my english is faar away to be amazing, and i cant properly express myself to be honest. Im doing well but, you know, im soooo cool and funny in portuguese, im looking ridiculously serious here. Maybe im asking too much for my second day. Lets see whats happen.
So, I founded a gym. HOTTEST GUYS EVER. But ye, i cant be me at moment so, im shy.(what a joke).  What i can do to back to recognize me? Where all my confidence? Carollllll heeeelllooooo??????????

I can still complaining..or, i can go find something to figure me out. So i founded. Lets take a pole dance coreography class!!!!!! 


I run like, more than one hour and i had a zumba class. Yes, im really into get fit, and really into gluten free too. Doesnt matter. The thing is, im so tired.. i will get a shower and sleep.

11PM - Ohhhhhhhh a friend from brazil just calls. Not really a friend. A friend of a friend. Im with my facil mask on but, ye i will gonna clubbin tonight. I'm going to Maddox in Mayfair. Never been before. Lets see whats happend.

Guys, i was even notice, but after that, my adventures starts in London. So i will think about that, if you guys deserve details or not. Was 3 days/night of lots of fun. Or kind of fun? Oh shit.. I need to focus. 

I'm back soon.

Yes, such a cheesy picture just to shw you guys, how the air here helps my hair and skin. Blah! Fab!



Fav tracks of the week

Hello, hi, whats up tigers. Junkie week. So i decided: detox for me. I will try this next week meditate every day, write lots and eat healthy...Ye, and i can party, but i will drink water. Pretty fair. 
So, i'm stayin' at home most of time, and here is what I was into to this week.



Here is the soundcloud link


offline days actin' weird

And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.


Fun Stuff Without Meaning


Why God

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. I'm not trying to be atheist or something. I just think your mind can change everything. And if you want to be anything, you will. Stop praying and start to live your dream. Fuck off the rest or what people think. Be gentle and and greatfull with the others, even with the bad ones. Just don't let them bring you down, trust in yourself and embrace your weirdness! Your life your rules! (remember: you don't need to be a bossy fucking rude bitch to have what you want. Spreding love is the hottest way).



Ye..you guys right..Maybe i should give more attention for my writing. I'm just overthinking about everything. Have lots to write. I'm just moving soon so you know that moment "waiting", ye, worst ever. So i'm trying sleep lots and drinking lots. But ye, doing this you can get tired and bored too. God bless music. I'm alive. That's what i'm into to the last week:

Keep Clubbin' tigers. 



As Buddha tries to teach us how to understand death, we have to understand when a cycle ends. Without anger or spirit loss, but with love, affection and patience to live free from fondness.

((by me, please dont copycat any of my notes without my name!!!!))


Loff Week

This title looks pretentious. Not the intention. I'm kinda faar from here because i was staying a few weeks in the black hole hostel, but now im totally fine, because if you are on the BHH is because you need see more things. So i went to the beach a few days and now i'm feeling better. I spent my April watching docs and weird movies, reading weird stuff too, so sometimes this can messy your brain. But here what i'm into it the last days with my opinion

Now what i listened the last weeks, hot stuff:



Interview - Anne Podlecki

Eu conheci a Anne a uns 10 anos atrás quando nós tínhamos uma percepção rebelde sobre a vida e achávamos que eramos anarquistas. Não que isso tenha mudado, mas pelo menos hoje sabemos que apesar da vontade não somos anarquistas. A Anne é fotografa já a alguns anos mas de uns meses pra que ela vem se encontrado e se sentindo mais a vontade e verdadeira com os clicks que tem feito. Mas ninguém melhor que ela para falar sobre isso.

 C.L: Oi Anne, sabe que eu tenho uma curiosidade quanto a fotógrafos, muitas das fotos que fazem sucesso são aquele style velho mendigo em preto e branco, crianças da Etiópia passando fome com uma super edição, órfãos no parquinho em sépia. Cara isso me da um bode sem fim, não tiro a beleza de algumas delas de uma forma técnica mas pra mim é uma hipocrisia desnecessária. Eu estou sendo ignorante? Qual sua opinião?
A.P: Oi Carol! Então, eu acho que o documental e o fotojornalismo são, sem dúvidas, as vertentes mais importantes da fotografia, ambos tem como função mostrar pra gente, por exemplo, que mora em uma cidadezinha no sul da Brasil o que tá acontecendo do outro lado do mundo de uma maneira visual, de forma que a gente pode se identificar e se convencer de que aquilo é real. Eu admiro muito quem faz isso, especialmente em lugares nada bonitos ou seguros. Mas realmente, eu dispensaria a edição forçada de fotos assim porque fica contraditório né? Acho que a foto por si já é forte o suficiente, não precisa de um efeito dramático em cima.
C.L: E o tipo de foto que você faz hoje em dia, o que você busca com elas? Qual o ponto de partida da inspiração?
A.P: Eu sempre fotografei gente, sempre gostei de fazer retratos, documentar pessoas. Agora eu estou focando em fotografias mais cruas, retratos bem fiéis, então tirei a roupa e a maquiagem das pessoas e tento retratar elas da maneira mais natural possível e nos meus projetos pessoais, estou focando bastante em tentar criar uma sintonia entre o corpo do fotografado e o cenário. Concentrar nas formas e partes do corpo, tirando qualquer sexualidade da fotografia. Eu acho que eu ainda estou engatinhando, eu sempre acho que eu ainda to engatinhando, então não sei falar muito sobre o que eu fotografo, mas é sempre gente, e ultimamente tenho brincado bastante com formas do corpo.
C.L: Você acabou de se mudar para os Estados Unidos, você acredita que o cenário de fotografia por aí é mais interessante? Por que todo mundo legal sai do Brasil? 
A.P: Então Carol, eu acho que o problema é Curitiba, não o Brasil. Claro, o Brasil (não me leve a mal, eu amo o Brasil, samba, feijoada e tudo isso) é um país complicado pra sobreviver de qualquer arte porque o brasileiro adora arte, mas não gosta muito de aplicar dinheiro nisso. Mas o problema maior, no meu caso, é que Curitiba é uma cidade muito tradicional. Eu tinha bastante dificuldade de encontrar gente pra posar pra mim, porque o nu não é bem visto lá, não me leve a mal, eu tive modelos extraordinárias que confiaram no meu trabalho antes mesmo de eu ter qualquer idéia do que eu estava fazendo. Mas no geral é uma cidade complicada quando se quer sair da caixinha. Mostrar seios em Curitiba é uma coisa que causa NERVOSISMO nas pessoas que vêem as fotos, juro! Eu vim pros Estados Unidos pra estudar, em uma escola em San Francisco fundada pelo Ansel Adams (que é o meu fotógrafo favorito) e que ainda se baseia na fotografia analógica, o que é incrível pros dias de hoje né? E claro, o pessoal de SF é super pelado! Então espero produzir bastante enquanto estou aqui, ter menos "pudor" do que eu tinha que ter no Brasil, haha. E sim, o cenário da fotografia aqui é bem interessante, eu já conheci muitos fotógrafos com visões muito loucas e trabalhos muito diferentes, com certeza aqui a diversidade de artistas é infinita e ninguém tem medo de mostrar seu lado B em suas criações, pessoal não tem vergonha nenhuma, o que é lindo.

 C.L: Você acha que ao decorrer de um processo criativo e estudo a pessoa fica cada vez mais politizada e para de romantizar a sua própria arte?
A.P: Eu acho que evitar a "bitolação" da própria arte é um exercício diário Carol. Eu mesma, por exemplo, tive um hiato bem grande na fotografia, em 2012 e 2013 eu só trabalhei com campanhas e fotos institucionais, porque estava juntando dinheiro pra viajar e não recusava trabalho nenhum. Acabei fazendo muita foto que não tem nada a ver comigo e deixei de lado a prática de fotografar por prazer, de sair por aí com a câmera, e a mágica morreu, desanimei, minha câmera tava juntando pó. Foi só quando eu resolvi tirar minha analógica do armário que as coisas voltaram a caminhar. Eu acho que isso é a coisa mais importante que um fotógrafo pode fazer pra se manter fiel a sua visão, é lembrar de brincar, de ir pra rua com a câmera, é experimentar técnicas novas. Se fotografa com digital, experimenta fotografar com filme, se fotografa com filme, experimenta com a digital, ou com uma descartável (que também é muito legal). Se mantenha jovem na sua arte, lembre que apesar de ela ser seu ganha pão, ela continua sendo a maneira que você tem de expor sua opinião pro mundo, continua sendo a sua voz. Esquece o photoshop um pouco, experimenta novos ângulos, experimenta uma fotografia mais crua. Eu sempre acreditei que em qualquer área da nossa vida, o extraordinário acontece quando a gente sai da nossa zona de conforto, e isso vale pra qualquer artista, qualquer pessoa que de alguma forma emprega sua visão pessoal em criações de qualquer tipo. Fazer o que a gente ama E ganhar dinheiro é uma coisa incrível, mas é importante se reinventar, se manter com sede, continuar aprendendo, tentando, experimentando, não cair dentro daquela caixinha do politicamente correto, do "isso funciona, então é só isso que eu faço". E o mais importante, na minha opinião: estudar bastante, entender o por que de todas as regras técnicas da fotografia, MAS, fazer isso por um só motivo: quanto mais você entende de regras, com mais audácia você pode quebrar elas. 
C.L: Sei também que você já estudou moda, qual sua relação e opinião quanto a isso? Digo "isso" porque por aqui nós não acreditamos mais nessa balela.
A.P: Olha Carol, eu cheguei a estudar moda mas vi no começo que não era pra mim. Eu não consigo lidar com cores e estampas, são coisas que incomodam meu olho desde criança, tanto na rua, na vida quanto nas roupas que eu uso ou nas roupas que eu fotografo. Não me leve a mal, eu adoro roupas, tenho muitas amigas que trabalham na indústria e acho um processo lindo. Mas no meu trabalho, o que importa é a maneira como a roupa interage com o corpo de quem eu to fotografando e com o cenário do quadro, e meu gosto pessoal é bem orgânico. Eu não sou qualificada pra opinar em moda, pra mim e pro meu trabalho, um lençol branco funciona melhor do que qualquer Valentino.
C.L: Tem algum projeto que você pira em fazer e ainda não foi realizado? Pode contar pra gente?
A.P: Sim! Eu quero fazer um coletânea de nus masculinos logo. Tenho trabalhado bastante com nu feminino mas nunca fiz um masculino. A idéia é fazer um retrato dos homens com quem eu me envolver nos próximos dois anos, amigos, colegas de trabalho, namorados, etc. A fotografia pra mim tem muito disso, de recordação, muito do que eu fotografo é porque eu não quero esquecer aquele momento, ou aquela pessoa, ou aquele lugar. E eu gosto de corpo, gosto de cheiro, gosto de gente, sempre gostei de gente, então a idéia é fazer um diário mesmo, documentando os homens que de alguma forma passarem na minha vida. Esse projeto já tá no papel faz um tempo, mas eu acho que a mágica do nu vem de um lugar zero sexual, pra mim o nu perfeito é quando o fotógrafo (ou pintor, ilustrador, etc) consegue retratar um corpo como um objeto de trabalho, sem qualquer conotação sexual envolvida. Por isso eu nunca comecei na prática com essas fotografias, eu acho que ainda não estou em um nível de maturidade fotográfica onde eu consigo ver homens pelados da mesma maneira que eu vejo um fogão. Mas estou trabalhando nisso (haha), e se tudo der certo em um ano vou estar te mandando essas fotos prontas. Obrigada Carol, admiro muito seu trabalho e fiquei super feliz com o convite. 


A Anne acabou de lançar um site, você pode visitar ele AQUI.

 Demais, adorei.